How to Botch Eggplant Parmesan

“I’m not white. I’m Italian!” Declared my Dean some years ago. I laughed uproariously.  But have since come to know this as one of his core Truths. And now it’s one of our Family Truths here in my Kitchen.

I’ve learned to cook many a rustic Italian dish from Dean and his family over the years and then on my own with my army of Cookbooks. Lydia Bastianich is the only writer I don’t alter a single thing about since her recipes taste “so much like home” to my husband. Everything else? I play with. Tweak spicing. Swap ingredients. Make healthy (sort of). Because I’ve come to discover that I am a Californian — culturally and figuratively.  I favor fresh ingredients, smaller portions, and a lighter touch to my foods with the big exception of garlic. I loooooove too much garlic. And olive oil. Especially if its homemade (like ours) or artisan.  Great quality EVOO tastes like sunlight to me.

But every so often, I want to make a dish “the proper way.” How I’d imagine Dean’s Nonna would’ve made it — or at least directed. Last night was just such a night. Cue Eggplant Parmesan. Now, we’d been playing in San Francisco with LaLa and PapaWil for a few days. It had turned cold and foggy back home in Sonoma and the Farmhouse needed some warming up. Horsehair and Plaster walls get and stay cold! And Eggplant Parmesan was just what we needed to warm up on the inside and out.

EGGPLANT PARMESAN

ingredients:

• 2 large eggplants
• 5 eggs
• 4 tablespoons whole milk
• grapeseed or vegetable oil
• 4 cups plain breadcrumbs
• Kosher salt
• Fresh thyme and 1 tspn dried thyme
• 1 tablespoon dried oregano
• 5-7 cups homemade tomato sauce or 2 jars good store bought
• 1.5 lbs fresh mozzarella
• 1 lb fontina cheese
• 1-2 cups shaved Parmesan cheese
• 1 bunch fresh Basil

Step one: Whisk 5 eggs and  milk in a bowl. In a separate bowl, mix 4 cups plain breadcrumbs, pinch of kosher salt, 1 teaspoon dried thyme, 1 tablespoon fresh thyme, 1 tablespoon dried oregano.

Slice 2 large eggplants thinly. Working in batches, drench 5 slices at a time in the egg batter and then toss with breadcrumbs mixture. Be sure to lightly press in the crumbs to coat eggplant evenly.

Heat 1/3-1/2 cup Grapeseed (or vegetable) Oil in a large flat pan. Fry the eggplants evenly on both side turning when browned. Remove from oil and place on paper towel lined plates to drain excess oils. Add more oil to pan when needed.

Now if you’re a perfect Italian cook, the eggplants will look golden and evenly browned. But if you’re like me last night?  Your eggplants will have a charred exterior and the kitchen will be slightly smoking. Turn on hood vents. Keep going.

Step 2: Realize you forgot to stir your thawing tomato sauce and there is now a burnt, bitter scum on the bottom of your sauce pan. Shit.

Step 3: Assemble Eggplant Parmesan. In a cast-iron or 9×13″ dish, spoon 1/4 of the Pasta Sauce (we used homemade but 2 jars of good store-bought works too. Just don’t use salt in the eggplant crumbs mixture). I took care not to scrape up the blackened bottom from the burnt bitter part of tomato sauce.

Layer fried eggplant over the good tomato sauce. They will overlap slightly. Evenly scatter 1/3 of sliced mozzarella, fontina and shaved Parmesan cheese. Hand shred 5-6 basil leaves on top of this. Top with tomato sauce. Repeat layers until you’re *almost* to the top. End with the cheese. Do not overfill. Lightly press the whole mixture with your hands.

Realize you forgot to preheat the oven to 350’F. Shit. Again. Pour yourself a glass of wine. Feel irritated until oven preheats and Pings! Slide Eggplant Parmesan (looking slightly soggy now) into the oven. Bake for 35-40 minutes. Remove from oven. And think “cheese needs to be browner”. Turn heat up to Broil. Forget you’ve done this while your little girl dances around dressed as “Tinkerbell Monarch Butterfly.” When timer buzzes, realize you’ve burnt to hell your beautifully shredded cheese crust.

Dammit. Enter Italian husband who cuts off the worst parts of blackened crust. Pour wine.

Grate what’s left of the fontina over the top and dress with fresh chopped basil. Pour wine. And eat around the crunchy bits.

Believe it or not, it turned out delicious! Then again, I secretly love burnt cheese. And eggplant, sauce, cheese and garlic usually tastes good. Charcoal or not. *Sigh*

If you want to try this at home, check out What’s Gaby Cooking Here is the link to her Stacked Eggplant Parmesan. Love Gaby’s Instagram feed too. Be sure to follow her.

http://whatsgabycooking.com/stacked-eggplant-parmesan/#.VOYd2ChealI

As for last night? You can’t win ’em all!  Happy Eating!